poutinedragon:

thymelord:

me: immune system why do i have a fever

immune system: well the bacteria can’t survive outside 37 degrees for long so i thought i’d raise the temperature to kill them off!

me: 

immune system:

me: 

immune system:

me: we also can’t survive outside 37 degrees for long

immune system:

image

The immune system: We’re gonna die? Not before I kill us first!

srvfan17:

spidey-pal:

perpetualmaelstrom:

green-gay13:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

imagine a horror movie where all the characters are gen z and not particularly scared of dying

killer on the phone with a character: i’m in your house and i will kill you

character: alright lit hurry up tho

The fakest part of this is a Gen Z kid answering the phone

killer via dm on ig: i’m in your house and i will kill you

character: alright queen👏🏼💖 hurry up🔥🔥💦💦

The only “adult” in the movie is a millennial who’s also not scared of dying, but is somewhat grumpier about the situation bc “if I die I don’t have to pay loans anymore but I just found a barber that doesn’t judge me for crying sometimes so idk what to do anymore” and is just like mildly inconvenienced by it

theredpelican:

we’re literally floating on a tiny planet in fucking space why are we surrounded by hatred and misery. why can’t everyone just calm the fuck down and lay on some grass. the sun is a GIANT BURNING ORB why does money exist. fuck everything